Edwards Emails
by catherinedoncaster1995
Summary: edwards email inbox, some funny others not so much, please R&R if you liked my cullen notes you should like this
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own twilight, shock horror**

**--**

To: .uk

From: .uk

RE: The magazine subscription

Dear Edward

Issue number one:

What the hell is a 'what car' magazine subscription leaflet doing on my desk in my room. And don't even bother telling me that it's not yours because it IS!

Problem two:

I don't need another car Edward, I know your worried for my safety because my truck isn't exactly modern but it doesn't mean you have to spend a boat loads of money just to placate yourself. We use your Volvo the most anyway.

Thing three:

I really do miss you, when you get back I want you to come straight to see me, Alice has been driving me insane, I am hiding in your closet currently on your laptop while she watches London fashion week, she's squealing above my hearing range I think.

Please some home soon, I really need to tell you something.

Love you forever, your future wife,

Bella.

PS, ask Emmet why I received a phone call from Seattle lap dancing club confirming a reservation in his name. Don't worry, I still want you to have a bachelor party, I've already planed my hen night.


	2. Chapter 2

To: .uk

From: .uk

RE: Reply to The magazine subscription.

Bella Love,

I just want you to be safe. A new car won't kill you, and if you think about it it's far more practical than some of the other gifts I could have got you.

(Like a larger diamond for you engagement ring for starters.)

But anyway, you can have any car you want.

Please Bella,

For Me

Edward

PS, am missing you terribly, don't let Alice force you into things. I'll be back for Sunday lunch.

Love you forever.


	3. Chapter 3

To: .uk

From: .uk

RE: I have written a list

Eddy Boy!

I know you delete most of my emails and don't reply to the ones you _do_ read, BELLA DOES!

Anyway *clearing throat* I have composed a list of things I could mention in my best man speech.

The fact that you and Bella have yet to christen the bed in your room.

You and Bella have yet to christen anyone's beds in any rooms.

The fact that you are a vampire and 'vant to suck her blood!'

You and Bella have been together longer than Cheryl and Ashley Cole before getting married.

That you and Bella are still together unlike Mr and Mrs, oh wait Mr and ex Mrs. Cole.

That Bella makes you happy

That you make Bella happy

That you kicked that dogs ass when it came to winning Bella even if you did leave her...

That you were a right miserable git when we left.

That you're still a git now, just not a miserable one.

That your prude

That you can read minds (gasp)

THAT YOU LOVE HER

Tell me what you think, and if you don't reply to it I will hand Bella this list,

Emmet

PS, wait till you see the list I gave Bella, in case you don't catch my drift, it's different to this one and much, much better.


	4. Chapter 4

To: .uk

From: .uk

RE: I have written a list

Emmy Bear

First of all WTF

You honestly expect me to let you say those things in your best man speech, which I haven't asked you to be.

If I wasn't with Carlisle and Jasper on a hunting trip, (which if your still wondering, I banned you from.)

If I wasn't on this hunting trip I would be murdering you right now. Don't email me back with any crap. I'm too busy trying to get Bella this car.

Speaking of Bella, if I come home and fine so much as ONE mark on her, I will kill you.

Capiche.

Edward

PS, Heed this warning. Send me a copy of the email you sent Bella with the list in BEFORE I kill you!


	5. Chapter 5

TO: Edward

FROM: Emmet

RE: Okay, okay Christ

Eddy

Christ okay, here is the list I sent Bella, seen as you asked nicely for it, sheesh.

Bella this is a list of 10 ways to annoy Edward if he is being a prick. (Like now by badgering me about seeing this list, *nervous laugh.*)

Sing I'm a virgin and when he asks why, say 'because your prude.'

By a dog and call it Jay – Cub (get it!)

Put glitter in his hair and say, 'now you sparkle, even in Forks.'

Crash his Volvo and get yourself hurt, then he can blame no one but himself.

When he goes hunting, ten minutes before his return cover yourself in red paint and lay on the side of the bed, holding one of those fake knives by your side. Also wrote a note saying, 'Romeo and Juliet', you have to love the irony of it!

Paint his Volvo pink. (Edward detests that colour.)

Tell Mike Newton Edward is gay and that he fancies him.

Climb a tree and threaten to jump if he doesn't save the whales.

Get hyper in biology and pass amazing notes like this.

Burst into tears and tell him you are actually in love with Robert Patterson. (Edward gets annoyed because everyone says he looks like him.)

Okay, there you go

Emmet the awesome brother who is GOING TO BE YOUR BETS MAN

YES ALICE SAW THE FUTURE!

PS, I am really happy for you mate. MAN THAT WAS DEEP, I should write that down.


	6. Chapter 6

To: Edward

From: Rosalie

RE: Just a heads up

Edward,

Your Volvo could use and upgrade, oh and I had an idea. I was looking through 'what car' and found that the best family car was your Volvo, so why not get Bella one of them, but then of course you already have one.

And she probably won't want to have his and her cars even if you get her to except her gift. So why not give her you Volvo and you can get a new car, something bigger better and more flash.

Then Bella will still have to ride in a posh car, it just won't be hers.

I'm not as dumb as I look, Email me back if you like it as an idea.

Rosalie

BTW your vanquish is looking fine, re-did the rims so enjoy.


	7. Chapter 7

To: Rosalie

From: Edward

RE: Reply, Just a heads up

That is a great Idea.

I'll look into it.

DON'T TELL BELLA.

I know it sounds awful but it's going to be hard enough to get her to except any gift as it is, let alone when she founds out I've bout a new car for myself so she can have mine.

I have asked Emmet to be my best man; please can you go over his speech with him because he won't show it to me.

In fact can you just write it for him? Switch them at the last minute or something.

Pease Rose, my father and mother in law are going to be there. I've already confiscated his Dracula costume he bought. I do NOT want the Volturi coming down on us over Emmet's idea of a 'joke.'

Edward,

PS, thanks for the Vanquish upgrade, I appreciate it.


	8. Chapter 8

To: Edward

From: Bella

RE: WHAT!!!!

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

Did you not receive my previous email about getting me a new car?

And yes I _know _it's not technically a new car because it is your old car, I don't need a new car.

Rosalie told me about her idea and how you 'loved it'. Why could you not just have told me first Edward?

I don't need a new car, and if I find out you have bought yourself a new car so I can have your Volvo, all hell will break loose.

I mean it Edward, you do not spend money on me without telling me, and don't give me all that, 'now that we are getting married what's mine will be yours' crap!

Edward please, I'll let you drive me everywhere in the Volvo, I won't complain if you get me a flash gift for my birthday.

But the Volvo is your car, and I am not driving it!

Bella

Xxxxx


	9. Chapter 9

To: Rosalie

From: Edward

RE: Why the Hell

Rosliae I understand you don't like Bella after her decision to become like us. But this isn't about you!

This is about me and Bella getting married, and the fact that she now won't talk to me, two days before our wedding. All because you told her about me giving her my Volvo.

I accept it when you shun her, and more importantly she does as well, showing her to be more mature and less vain.

You're such a cow, don't even bother coming assuming Bella is back talking to me by then and she hasn't left me for that dog. At least his family aren't back stabbing.

I refuse to call you my sister.

Thanks for nothing.

Edward

PS, you may find your car tireless.


	10. Chapter 10

To: Edward

From: Bella

RE: Please don't fight with Rosalie.

Edward I'm not mad anymore, just come back and apologise to Rose. At least she is talking to me now.

I know it's hard for you to understand why I don't like you spending money on me, but its because I have nothing to give back to you. Please just come back. We're getting married in two days and tonight is the last night I am allowed to see you according to Alice.

I don't want Rose to miss our wedding. She is your sister Edward, and in a couple of days she will be mine.

Please

Bella.

Ps, I'm still not driving your Volvo though.


	11. Chapter 11

To: Bella

From: Edward

RE: About Rosalie

I'll be back in an hour, I was just mad that's all. I miss you so much, and am anxious for these forty eight hours to be over so I can resist killing Emmet.

Have you read his best man speech?

Probably best if you haven't.

I can't wait to call you my wife.

Edward


	12. Chapter 12

To: .uk

From: .uk

RE: WTF!

Eddy kins wtf?

What do you mean it's primitive and immature! And I know it has taken me ages to reply but we had to get a new computer because Rose smashed the screen of the old one when you sent her that email!

Rosalie said my list was amazing, never mind the bit about 'for a four year old' she mumbled afterwards. She accepts your apology by the way, she told me she did, she's just to proud to admit it.

PLEASE DON'T SHOW THIS EMIAL TO HER

I'm not even going to run future speech suggestions by you, the wedding is in one day, so I'd better get writing.

Where are the crayons....?

Emmet

Oh Yeh, Bella was upset this morning over something and she wouldn't tell anyone what it was, ask her what it is if you can gets past Alice, you're not allowed to see her till tomorrow you know!

BYE!


	13. Chapter 13

TO: Edward

FROM: BELLA

RE: !

Edward

I know it's against the rules, the whole, seeing eachother the night before the weeding thing, but I'm so nervous and need t see you one more time before we become husband and wife.

It's because I want this Saturday to be perfect, and for you to enjoy it as much as I hope you will.

Bella

PS, love you loads, please hurry.


	14. Chapter 14

TO: BELLA

FROM: EDWARD

RE: !

Alright love, calm down give us ten minutes to get to your.

I am looking forward to our wedding so much, to finally be able to call you mine.

Love you forever, and I do mean it.

Edward


	15. Chapter 15

TO: EDWARD  
FROM: ALICE

RE: ?

Edward,

What was wrong with Bella, was it something to do with the wedding, her dress... the cake.

Yes I know we don't technically need one but it doesn't matter!

Please tell me, I will be her sister in just under eight hours and I need to know!

ALICE


	16. Chapter 16

TO: ALICE  
FROM: EDWARD

RE: CHILL

Pixie

It's very hard to get anything done when you are screaming at me in your head, and writing weird emails.

Bella is fine, she just wanted to see me one more time.

BTW, if you couldn't see me visit her, I think it's time we revaluated your sightseeing status.

Edward

Ps, don't forget that in also becoming your sister she will be my _wife, _much higher up and closer to me than you thank you Alice.


	17. Chapter 17

TO: EDWARD  
FROM: ALICE

RE: CHILL... CHILL!

Edward

What exactly have you got to get done anyway, I'm the one who had to plan this whole wedding...

Okay yes I know it was my choice and I volunteered, but how creative can I be without going overboard and maybe killing a few of the guests?

JOKE EDWARD

Alice

PS, I read Emmet's best man speech, you'll hate it, promise.


	18. Chapter 18

TO: EDWARD  
FROM: BELLA

RE: I love you

Edward

Tomorrow we'll be husband and wife, can you believe it?

I'm so excited and actually can't sleep, but I've taken some cough medicine which should help me drift off.

But don't panic, it won't kill me.

See you soon Mr Cullen,

The soon to be Mrs Edward Cullen

Bella.


	19. Chapter 19

TO: BELLA  
FROM: EDWARD

RE: I love you to

Bella

As much as I am opposed to the idea of you taking medication unnecessarily, I think it is good you have found some way of going to sleep, and as much as I wish to be lying there beside you,

I simply can't, you don't want a headless groom by the hands of a four foot pixie.

Truly my love I cannot wait to call you my wife, try and get some sleep.

I love you so much.

Edward.


	20. Chapter 20

TO: Carlisle

FROM: Edward

RE: Nerves

Carlisle,

Is it possible to be this nervous on the biggest day of my existence?

I should be jumping off the ceiling with excitement; I just can't wait till she is finally mine.

So why exactly am I, in Emmet's terms, 'Bricking it?'

Please, I have been pacing this room for the last, eight hours?

And Esme will shout at me if I wear a hole in the floor.

HELP!

Edward.


	21. Chapter 21

TO: Edward

FROM: Carlisle

RE: Nerves...

Edward,

Its normal to be nerves on your big day I was when I got married to Esme but I've had no regret, it has been the highlight of my existence becoming a father and having a lovely wife.

Nerves are normal, and I do not need a Doctors degree to know that.

Edward if we as your family were not certain this was the right thing for you and Bella to do we would have said so, especially Esme.

She will always be your mother after all, even when you get to be as old as me.

Bella loves you, as much as you love her.

You have been through so much my son, and it is to god we should be thankful that you have found such happiness in such a charming young girl.

Everything will be fine, Alice has it under control.

Just relax and enjoy your day, you'll never get a first trip down the aisle again.

Carlisle.

PS, I have Emmet under control, but if you get any annoying emails from him, juts let me know, Esme has enough to deal with without him being a prat, so she should be more than happy to get him to lend a hand.

Keep calm and carry on.


End file.
